still looking !

im blogging today after almost 2 yrs...and in the last 2 yrs a lot has changed with time..

i got placed with essar out of campus.. dint really know then if it was the right choice.. but now i do.. and that is why 2 yrs after slogging for them, i now find myself looking for jobs !! my cv is now a public document !!

in 2 yr with essar.. i did almost everything a marketing student wud aspire to do.. designed a brochure (after going thru a crash course on application engg for steel).. did some excel jadoo to control pricing of steel in india .. was made to understand how retail mobile chains operate.. set up stores in karnataka... handled a part of the bangalore's stores.. handled a business category which made me peep into the telecom window.. worked under 6 different bosses in 15 months

and just abt then.. when i was doing pretty well.. the company wasnt.. and feelers came in when my most recent boss quit.. i also chose to find myself a career change.. hooked up a friend who i drew inspiration from largely because of his flair for technology... i thot he was the perfect image of me 8-10 yrs from now.. we sat together and made a plan.. a plan to bring a big brand into indian boundaries.. and i got swept away with the ambitious layout.. my worst fear came true and the business dint kick off.. my friend went back to the US for another exigency leaving my clueless abt my career !! i began to feel the pinch.. tried my hand to open a restaurant in coimbatore .. it is one of the things i want to do before i die.. but that idea too flopped.. why - coz we were entering thru a franchise route and the company turned down ideas to expand in the 11th hr !! grrrrrr

came back to bangalore.. not knowing wat to do.. was constrained to look for jobs only in bangalore and that too in the worst of times the market was going thru.. gave a lot of interviews.. but employers were double cautious before rolling out offers...

there is now something dreadful on my cv - an employement gap .. iv been asked a lot of questions abt it.. why arent people willing to deal with reality?? wat is ur fault if ur organisation isnt doing well.. wat is your fault if your start up idea dint kick off.. wat is your fault if the market isnt hiring.. hour after hour... day after day.. im sitting right here asking the same questions to myself..

have i done a mistake by quitting my first job.. answer is NO.. im much happier than what i was 6 months back.. but i am not happy that my efforts have not received my due.. wise ones in my family and around me tell me that im being test on patience.. i pacify myself and it doesnt last for long..

i still seek answers... have i lost my prime?? or am i waiting for the ultimate to hit me ??